I love my wife

That title might not seem like a particularly-dramatic statement, but I think it’s worth mentioning. I say this especially because of the sorts of things I’ve heard lately. Some of them, I suppose, not so much lately as just having heard them in general.

Men make fun of their wives, complain about them, and say all kinds of things. I don’t care to make a lot of specific examples, because I’m not trying to call anyone out right now. Just to give you a sense of what’s got me going, though …

- This past week, I heard a radio host talking about how annoying his wife is when she’s hinting about a gift that she wants.

- A married man that I know answered the question, “What should you do if you’re thinking about marriage?” with “Run away fast.”

And then, of course, there are such jokes as:

- My wife and I lived happily for 20 years. Then we met and got married.

- I haven’t spoken to my wife in 5 years. I don’t want to interrupt her while she’s talking.

Ha, ha … Oh, so funny. (Make sure to reread that in a deadpan if you didn’t get that as it was intended.)

Sadly, Christian men do this all the time. How am I supposed to view my wife?

I’m supposed to love her. Paul told the Ephesians, in fact, that I’m supposed to love her “just as Christ loved the church” (Ephesians 5:25). He went on to say that I should love her as I love my own body (Ephesians 5:28).

Do I sit around with “the guys” complaining about what a loser I am? About what a jerk I am?

Of course not. Therefore, if I’m loving my wife the way Paul told me to, I should not be doing that to my wife, either.

Christ loved the Church, and showed His love by going out into difficult and often-unpleasant situations for us. He sought out sinners to be helped and then suffered a brutal death. That, by the way, is not the same as sitting on the couch watching TV and telling one’s wife to bring another beer.

So, I’ve decided to take this opportunity to say a few things about how wonderful my wife is.

For one thing, she is rarely less than the smartest person in the room. She has an MS in Mathematics. She enjoys topology. She teaches algebra, trigonometry, and calculus at an emotional-growth boarding school. That means that nearly all of her students are the problem students from other schools. She’s also the math department head, she was the acting faculty head over the summer, and she’s also an academic advisor.

My wife earns the money that supports our family. My wife is a wonderful, caring, and loving person. My wife also enjoys some of the same types of books and shows that I do. That includes science fiction and fantasy. (She knows the Lord of the Rings series better than I ever will. The night we spent during a power outage playing the LOTR edition of Trivial Pursuit by oil lamp is … well, … a humbling story. But a good one.)

I don’t feel the need to join in with people who complain about their “ball and chain.” As Paul Overstreet sang, “Love don’t feel like a ball and chain to me/When I’m close to [her] my heart is wild and free.”

By the way, I was pleased to see the e-mail sig from a fellow blogger, who ends every e-mail with the note “My wife is my best friend.” That’s a guy who gets it. Part of me saw that and thought, “Wow, I should have done that.”

As our relationship was starting, a friend of mine asked me, “Has it occured to you that God put you two together deliberately? By the way, if He did, that means He loves you very much.” I can’t argue with that.

So, Zeta, if you’re reading this … I love you.

To anyone else … You know what? I love my wife. Very much.

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12 Responses to “I love my wife”

  1. Larry Says:

    This is a wonderful article, Wickle. So many times I have heard men talk about their wives in a disparaging manner and it makes me somewhat angry when they do. I stated in my wedding vows that I would honor and cherish Tammy and that’s the way it should be. It sounds like you have a wonderful wife, as do I. Congratulations!!

  2. Posts about Christian Fiction as of February 23, 2009 | Aggi Pursued Says:

    [...] a Christian and we hear his prayers–short one or two liners, not page-long mini-sermons I love my wife – 1truebeliever.wordpress.com 02/23/2009 That title might not seem like a particularly-dramatic [...]

  3. Frances Says:

    Your wife is blessed to have a loving husband. Mine is very loving too and protective of my honor. It is always good to be reminded to love one another.

  4. How to love my wife Says:

    Saying on blog that you love her is good and such a romantic ways.. You are a lucky person having a wonderful wife..
    Come visit my blog sometime, me as well share some information regarding how to love wife..

  5. AJs_Dad Says:

    I was just blog browsing this afternoon as it was a slow afternoon and hit upon this post. It really is an incredable post and one that a lot of people should read.

    I know I always get a little irritated at a wedding with the many marriage jokes when instead the newly married couple should be exalted with these kind of truths.

    I think I will borrow your idea and announce public accolades about my wife in an upcoming blog post.

    Thanks for brightening my day!

  6. wickle Says:

    Hey, thanks, everyone!

    Larry, you’re right … I seem to remember saying words like “cherish” and such … and how many people cherish a ball and chain?

    AJ’s Dad … yeah, comments like that at a wedding. I didn’t even think of that. That’s just awful.

    While we’re at it, the whole bachelor party/last night of freedom and all that … bah!

  7. Chasing the Wind » Christian Carnival CCLXV Says:

    [...] presents I love my wife « A True Believer’s Blog posted at A True Believer’s Weblog, saying, “Wickle has heard some comments lately [...]

  8. Minister Mamie L. Pack Says:

    Wickle, it is wonderful to read such pleasant thoughts on the idea of marriage and of your wife. Our society has turned marriage into something ugly instead of a gift from God. “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing.” If more men were willing to praise their wives and share the joys of marriage it would not seem like such a daunting task.

    with blessings,

    Minister Mamie

  9. wickle Says:

    Hey, thanks!

    You’re right, people do look at marriage as a burden instead of the gift that it is. Great point.

  10. frank Says:

    alot of these jokes and complaints come from the reality that most men face: sucess in many marriages is measured how well the husband satisfies the wife’s “wants”. enjoy your blessing.

  11. wickle Says:

    Thanks for your input, Frank. But I disagree with you.

    Many men think that that’s their reality. It’s usually not.

    I highly recommend Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages” for a detailed exploration of that concept.

    Moreover, even if that was the case, I’d argue that the appropriate way to handle such differences of opinion is by sitting down and talking, spouse-to-spouse, rather than venting it in front of one’s buddies (or on the air to hundreds of thousands of strangers).

  12. WOB Says:

    Loving comments from a kept man. How endearing …


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