Sure, I’ll put up a Valentine’s Day-sort-of post.
One of the best books I’ve ever read is Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages. If you haven’t read it, you should. Even if you’re not in or looking for any kind of romantic relationship … it’s worth the read and gives some great insights.
The premise of the book is that there are five languages in which we express love for others:
- Acts of service
- Quality time
- Words of assurance
- Gifts
- Physical touch
The idea is that each of us has certain preferences in how we express and receive love. A lot of problems come about because we aren’t using the right languages for other people. To use the stereotype … A father might not get why his son feels unloved. The father buys his son the best toys, games, a computer, etc. (Gifts). What the boy wants is for his dad to say he loves him (Words of assurance).
Yes, it seems obvious. But as you work your way through the book, it becomes more and more profound. The book also offers ideas on how to learn other languages, how to identify languages of loved ones, and so on.
The original version of the book is targetted at marital relationships. Later versions focus on dating, friendship, kids, pets, cars, aliens, and … wait, … maybe there aren’t that many later versions. Seriously, though, it’s worth checking them out. I’ve read three or four of them over the years, and have read The Five Love Languages itself at least four times.
If you’d like some real, good, practical advice on how to improve relationships — even good ones! — pick up a copy.
The book is a Christian work, but its principles apply perfectly well in a secular environment, too. An employee of mine several years ago, a Buddhist, said that he learned a lot from the book. (I’d argue that he missed a lot, too, but that’s a different issue.)
Enjoy! And whatever you’re doing, have a great Valentine’s Day (TM).